I am so thankful for....

....SO many amazing friends. I consider my girlfriends my sisters, as I do not have any sisters. The beauty is that I can CHOOSE them....and they choose me....when I was in NH two months ago when my stepfather passed away, and spent two weeks with my mom to help her sort through things, I had many friends from my childhood through my young adult years (just before I moved to CA) come and support me. I told them that they are stuck with me and cannot get rid of me not matter how hard they may try....lol....I am not sure how I would get through some of the hard times without them. There is nothing like girlfriends to understand you and life's challenges like them. They do not judge, they support, they love me and no matter what, they always have the right thing to say just when I need to hear it. They are so therapeutic....thank you girlfriends/sisters!

We all have hills...

... to climb....and choices to make. I have learned that if you live in the moment, and just not worry about the future, time will reveal what is meant to be. I am such a worrier.....I fret what is going to happen next. It has given me such peace since I have decided to take one day at a time, one step at a time, and slow down....I need to be in the here and now. I am so much less anxious. I am so thankful for the reminders - friends - and family - who are supporting me through this stage of my life when big changes are going to come and I am so worried about how things will work out. I breathe, talk to someone who is in my corner, and live for today. Plans still need to be made, and action needs to happen, however, I will conquer a little bit at a time instead of climbing a mountain, I will walk up a hill.... :)

I am tired.....

....of all of the crappy people in the world! What is WRONG with people? Why on EARTH would you hurt innocent people? Children, families, friends, lives all affected by sick, distorted, crazy people. Go do that to yourself. It was horrific what happened at Sandy Hook, and now this in Boston.....when will the madness end? My HEART goes out to everyone who was affected by yet another tragedy. I am SO thankful that my loved ones are safe and sound. I am trying my hardest to teach my kids that people are good, and to try to be nice to everyone.....you don't have to be friends with everyone, but just try to be nice to everyone....you never know if they will be here tomorrow.....with that, I am going to go sqquuueeeezzzzeeee my kids!

I know that this has been said a lot recently but....

....when tragedy strikes, look to those you love and embrace them in the moment, because you may not be able to do so again! In the wake of Boston's explosions yesterday, that really hits home for me as Boston use to BE my home....it is my home away from home....I was fortunate enough not to have anyone affected by the hideousness of the crazy act, however, it is still, nevertheless, a heartbreaking moment. We are often reminded to stop and take a look at things when such events take place. The Sandy Hook tragedy is another recent event that just makes you think. Live, love, enjoy.....I am going to try to do that more often....forgive, and heal....

Do something that...

....makes you feel great each day! I just started going to a pool in the morning after dropping off the kids to swim laps....I have been doing this for a few months now, and I feel GREAT! That is one thing that I will not compromise as it is the one hour of time that is dedicated to ME....everyone should do that....whether you exercise, write, create art, sing, play music......BLOG....whatever it may be, focus on yourself, even if it is just for a short time. I decided that I am going to swim Monday through Friday and it has really made me feel so great! I look forward to it! There are always way to improve imperfection.....I am always trying to be a better person, mom, friend, family member....change is good! I am looking forward to some positive changes soon! :)

If you do not like how something is going in your life...

...change it. This has been a life changing year for me. I realize that I have not been here to post in over a year!!! I only posted ONE blog all year last year....but, it is time to get back into it. The year started out not so well. At 10:20 pm on New Year's Eve, I received a call from my mom. It was 1:20 am for her...she is on the east coast. I panicked. Once I answered the phone and heard the news on the other end....I knew that it was not going to be an easy road. My stepfather, who was 69, had fallen unconscious, and she had to call 911 to have him rushed to the hospital. After many days, tests, recovery, relapses, and varieties of diagnosis; the ultimate news was that he had terminal liver cancer....he had a few weeks to a few months left to live. He lasted one month after this news. Once my mom lost her partner of over 30 years, I went to spend two weeks with her to help her clean out, mourn, plan a service, and cope....in doing so, there were some things that I realized. I have been just going through life and pretending that everything is OK, so, now, I am making strides in making changes for the better. I will not just glide on through and try to get by. This week is a big step. Once I am stronger and can talk more about it, I will reveal slowly my journey....thank you for supporting! I will need it!