I have to admit....

......I love vacation week as much as the kids! It wasn't so easy to get up this AM to go to school.....I love waking up at our leisure and having no commitments! The kids do too, but, I also have to admit, it was nice having some quiet this morning. Is that bad to say? I guess we all need to have some time to ourselves. But I still love to be able to say, "Let's go to the aquarium today!" or "Let's go to the movies today!" That is the best! I am really looking forward to the summer. It is the last summer before my daughter starts kindergarten. I feel like it is the end of a stage of my kids wanting to be with me! I plan on once a week beach day, play dates, movies, parks, zoos, amusement parks, etc! I hope that we have better weather!

They are each....

....individuals, aren't they? It is so much fun to see our children become unique. I love watching them make up their own minds, as much I as I try to persuade them one way, nope, they want it their way! For example, my son, my daughter and I were in the Lakeshore Learning store the other day. They each had $25 of their own money to spend. My son could not decide between a target game with nerf balls, or a laptop that would teach him about Astronomy, Geology, Oceanography, etc, well, of course, my vote was for the laptop. His mind was not made up. I tried to convince him to pick the laptop, which was $35, I told him that I would pay the difference. I was really trying to convince him to get the laptop. I told him that he already had a bunch of nerf guns, he replied that he already had a laptop learning game. So, of course, he went with the nerf target game. I let him make up his own mind. He earned his own money, and was set on that. So, I guess it is time to let go a bit and let them make up their own minds, unless, of course, it is illegal.....hopefully I won't ever have to deal with that ;)

I am....

....taking the day off...OK? I know that I have had the week of the kids being off from school, but, with them home, it is 24/7. Well, today, I am taking the day off, well, at least the morning until hubster has to go to work. Hubster made breakfast for the kids, did the dishes, and let me stay in bed! He made a nice pot of coffee, and I LOVE it freshly brewed. I am tired, I don't feel well, as I am fighting a little cold, and I am grumpy, OK? I love bed, and just need to stop, and take a break.....the imperfect Mommy is checking out. And, I am going to be OK with that.

Am I....

....a broken record? Am I a broken record? Am I a broken record?......Today, I was trying to have some quiet time for an hour before I was going to take the kids to the movies, and not once, not twice, not three times, but four times in an hour, I had to ask my kids to just play in their room, or the living room so that I could have some down time. You would have thought I was torturing them.....it just was an impossible task for them. I was so frustrated, that I almost cancelled our plans. However, we were meeting friends, and there was no rain check because they are leaving tomorrow for a little road trip. So, instead, my punishment for not listening is to bed a half an hour early which they both do not like at all....especially my eight year old son. Especially since we are on vacation this week. So, I am hoping the next time I ask for a little peace they will listen.....but probably not.....

The cutestest things....

....that kids say! There are times that I wish the video camera was running, so I try hard to "record things" in my brain! Some of my favorite memories of things that my kids have said still make me smile. When my daughter was about 18 months old, she would ride in her car seat, I would give her a snack with a drink and I would ask her to please make sure to put her drink in the cupholder so that she would not spill. She would reply, "Look, Mommy, my drink is in the 'hold-cupper'!" HOLD CUPPER! LOL.....love it! We still call it that. When my son was learning to count, he would count as follows, "....ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, FIVETEEN, sixteen, seventeen..." Well, it does make sense doesn't it? FIVETEEN!!! LOL.....love that one too! Recently, I was talking with my daughter about her learning to walk. She never really crawled, she went from sitting to cruising to walking. She was wondering what cruising was, I explained to her that cruising was when she would hold onto something such as the coffee table and just walk circles around it. About two or so days later, she brought up her cruising and asked, "Mommy, was it cute when I was cruising and making cir..., I mean, rectangles around the table?" LOL! So clever since our coffee table is a rectangle.... Lastly, one of the more recent things my son has done was at his flag football pizza party. The coach had given a little speech about each of the boys, and my son wanted to give a toast to everyone, he stood up in front of everyone, held his trophy high over his head and said, "Thank you everyone for playing football with me, even though we didn't win any games, we hung in there, and we will win next year, let's have a great season next time and I hope to play with you again!" LOL....I REALLY wish I had recorded that one.....I would love to hear your cute stories! Share with me on FB, comment here or email me @ jennijenmackenzie@gmail.com

Why is it....

....that we must always keep our kids so busy? I feel guilty if I am not taking my kids to the park, or on a playdate, or have them in activities all of the time, or entertaining them somehow, etc....(you get the gist)! Whatever happened to doing puzzles, or reading a book, or playing hopscotch, or riding your bike? It was so much more simple when we were kids (now I sound like my parents....ugh....oh yeah, I AM a parent....). With all of the technology today, it feels like everything is so fast pace! I don't think that I want to subscribe to an iPhone or a Smartphone or whatever because I don't always need to get a text immediately, or want to be in touch immediately, or respond right away. If someone wants to talk to me, they can CALL me, or come visit me. Besides, I am too busy trying to get to basketball or ballet, or the park, or....etc.....lol. I just like to stop, sit and be sometimes....

Never say....

...."What if...?" That is one of my mottos of life! That is what brought me to California! I was going through a rough time in my life, I was in a rut. I had just been laid off, my boyfriend dumped me, and it was RIGHT NOW 16 years ago.....I had two friends that were begging me to move out here. I said, well, hey, I have nothing better to do than go for a visit at least, and have an open mind. So, I came out here, it rained everyday I was here, so I didn't even really get to see the true beauty of the weather, but I found a temporary job, a cute little studio apartment, and picked up and moved out here two weeks later! I would not want to look back and say, "What if I never just took a chance....?" Well, I will tell you what if....I never would have met "this" hubster, had "these" children, lived in "this" house, and had all of "these" friends! It was the BEST move I have ever made. Yes, sometimes you say, I wish that I had never done that, I have one of those too (well, maybe more than one....), however, you have to at least try! I am so thankful that I took the chance!!!

The never ending to do list...

....we all have them! I was talking with a friend last night, and she said that she wished she could shut the world out for a week so that she could get organized, clean out, and finish her "to do" list and I laughed and said, "You will NEVER finish your 'to do' list!" Once we finish one thing, we add two more, it is life! We then laughed and said, yes, that is true! But, it sure would be nice to have time to yourself to do what you need to do. Of course, the priorities are always the family and whatever comes next or whatever you can fit in, or whatever you are working on and don't get distracted from to go on to something else, that is what you can get done! The hubster and I always laugh because, he will be doing something such as yard work, I will go out and say, "Honey, can you please help me hang up this photo?", of course he will, but I get him off course, because he will hang my frame, then see that he needs to fix the doo-hicky and I need the whatcha-ma-call-it so that I can put the photos in the frame, before you know it, two hours have gone by, it is too dark to do yard work, it is time to cook dinner for the kids, and we just spun our wheels! There are days when a lot gets done, but the spinner days just crack me up! Oh well!!! That is life, right?

Is it better to be a friend....

....or a parent? I struggle with this because I want my kids to "like" me...I know that they love me but they don't always like me. However, my job is to be a good parent....the other day, my son asked me if he could have a later bedtime one day. I said, "Yes, one day when you can get up in the morning on time, get ready for school, on time, and not complain about what time we get to school and how much free time you have to play before the bells rings, how about that?" He looked at me with such disdain, it almost broke my heart. I went in to tuck him in for bed, and just explained further that once he matures a little bit more, he can stay up later. He didn't know what "mature" meant, so of course, I had to explain that. Whatever happened to the days of "The answer is NO!" and they say, "Why?" and the mommy replies, "Because I am the Mommy, that is why!" and that was good enough.....ugh....rules change all of the time, techniques change all of the time, kids change all of the time, the environment changes all of the time, (you get the gist....). My job is Mommy first, then, if in the end the children like me, I guess I did an extra great job! But, kids need guidance first, believe me, I have seen first hand what lack of guidance can do to a child. So, for now, I will parent, keep being nurturing, loving, yet, firm with my kids! Happy parenting, friends!

I feel lucky......

....do you? On this Valentine's Day, I wanted to write about my hubster and our first Valentine's Day together, this is number 14. We had only been dating for about 2 1/2 months, I had a roommate, who is a dear friend to us both, now. In the two weeks leading up to Valentine's Day, he sent postcards in the mail with sayings such as, "You have a secret admirer!" "I have a crush on you...." "Let's meet soon", etc. (you get the gist ;) Eventually, I received one that said meet me at such and such a place at such and such time. Well, I arrived at Daphne's Greek Restaurant, as I approached the door, there he jumped out from behind a pillar and presented me with a dozen red roses. We then went inside for dinner, and after we ate, he presented me with a card. Inside was a pamphlet for Big Bear, he told me that we were going up to Big Bear and he was going to teach me how to ski! Now, mind you, I am from New Hampshire, and never step foot on a snowy mountain top....I was nervous, but excited at the same time! This was all leading UP to Valentine's Day, ON the actual day, he proceeded to bring over balloons, candy, heart shaped pasta and presented BOTH my roommate, and I with the balloons, candy and pasta dinner that he made for BOTH of us....so thoughtful, sweet, and romantic! Whenever it is Valentine's Day, even though it is sort of a "Hallmark" holiday, my hubster never seizes to amaze me.....he even proposed to me on Valentine's Day....that is for another blog. So, I am very thankful for my thoughtful, romantic hubster, and love to reminisce about our first Valentine's Day together! Happy Heart Day, friends!!!

There is nothing like.....

...some GIRL TIME! I know that a good lemon drop martini, salad and maybe some calamari along with fantastic girlfriends is very refreshing! Not necessarily going out is required. I started a new group just over a year ago and we call it GNI (Girls' Night In), where we have a host who supplies the libations, we each bring an appetizer or dessert, gather for an evening sans hubsters and children for a couple of hours, and revive ourselves by laughing, venting, chatting, etc... (you get the gist...) We do this once a month, each of us takes turns hosting, and at the end of the year we all go out! It is really fun, and it sure is good to do something for yourself! I love gathering with girlfriends, cousins, aunts....it is all good! East coast, west coast....where ever we are, it is the best! Make sure to make time for your girlfriends because it is GREAT for both of you!!!

Is it just me.....

....or does it feel like groundhog day, again? Didn't I just do the dishes, fold the laundry, make the beds, dust, vacuum, take out the trash, clean the house, etc. (you get the gist ~ I just had to put that in here! ;) I LOVE the feeling of it all being done, but that lasts about, oh, a minute....then the children finish breakfast, hubster finishes his coffee, takes a shower, has dirty sleeping clothes, and towels, and the next thing you know, we have to go to son's game, he makes a dirty uniform, the children play at the park after the game and come home with sand in their shoes which ends up all of the house even if they dump it out outside after I just vacuumed....sigh.....but you know what, it is all good because these are the things that make my house a home, at least that is what I keep telling myself! Let it go, it is OK to have sand on the floor, and laundry in the laundry baskets, washer and dryer (which is ALWAYS running even though there are only four people in my family, I don't understand that one, does the laundry just multiply?) The only time I feel as though my house is almost just right is when my family comes to town, and I clean, pick up, paint things, redo bathrooms, etc, like crazy! Hubster thinks I am crazy sometimes, but I do want to be proud of my home, and I want my home to be warm and welcoming! So, I will continue the groundhog day chores, and forgive myself if I leave dishes in the sink from dinner, or don't make the beds until I am done dropping the kids off at school, and only do the whites once every two weeks (luckily, hubster has a plethora of white socks!) By the way, I am sitting down to write this because I am HOT from dishes, beds, laundry, already this am! ;)

I'm just a big-boned, skinny girl...

....so I woke up today, and realized that it was Thursday. Tuesday and Thursday I meet with a fabulous group of women who I work out with. It is so great, and once I am finished the 75 minute regime I am SO happy that I attended. The getting motivated to go every Tuesday and Thursday that is the difficult part. Additionally, I have been going for 2 1/2 years, I see a difference in my strength, however, I cannot seem to get the weight off...yes, I do lose a few pounds here and there, but, I just think that the weight I am at, is where I am meant to be. I beat myself up all of the time about how I look, what to wear, what to eat, what I already ate, why did I eat that, I think I will just drink more wine because it has all gone to pot now....you get the gist (I think that this saying may be in all of my blogs....LOL!) We are even doing a "Biggest Loser" contest with our group where we each put in $20 and whoever loses the largest percentage of weight, wins the pool of money. I have lost about 5 pounds, have three more weeks to go and just feel stuck. I was mortified to even weigh in.....it seriously took everything I had to confide in my friend who logged our weight. Until this contest, I NEVER told my hubster what I weigh but by him knowing, I am accountable.....I USE to weigh 115 - 120 in high school and college, however, those days are LONG GONE! Well, I will just keep trying to watch what I eat (I only give myself one day a week a break where I can have pasta, wine, dessert, or cheat a little bit), and not beat myself up over it.....I have asked for alternate procedures on various occasions from my hubster, but he doesn't want me to, and he tells me that he loves me just the way I am. That should be enough, right? Well, I still beat myself up over it, I feel like I should be thinner, prettier, more fabulous but what I really need to do is to try to forgive myself for the extra weight, and LOVE myself for who I am. I actually do love myself for who I am, I just wish that I could look like Heidi Klum after four kids in a bikini.....but, that is not reality. So, for now, I will go have my salad for dinner and get up tomorrow, and exercise in the AM and do my best!

To go or not to go, that is the question...

Today was a challenge. As usual, my schedule was filled to the brim. Drop the kids off at school, come home and get a long walk in (as quickly as possible), change the sheets (because the hubster was home SICK and slept in the bed whilst I slept on the couch and notified me that it was "OK to go ahead and clean the room" - gee, thanks....), laundry, shower, quick lunch, pick up some ink, pick daughter from preschool, go to playdate, go to ballet, pick up son from after school science program, come home, make bed, fold laundry, feed children, check homework, clean the children.....all by 6:00PM. Now, exhausted, do I go to the Boy Scout den meeting that starts at 7:00PM with hubster at his own meeting until about 9:00PM, and knowing that I was at a PTA meeting until 9:00PM the night prior, and knowing that son has a game tomorrow night at 6:00PM while hubster has to clock a basketball game....these are the things that I juggle in my brain. Well, I decided to put my nightie on and start a blog instead. And you know what, I will forgive myself for not going, I will make up the activity that my son missed by taking my kids to "Art Zone" after school on Friday with the free tickets we got for hosting daughter's birthday party there....so, how about that....(huge sigh.....) Yes, I will forgive myself for not being everywhere, everytime! And you should too!!!

Nightie, night!