Variety is the....

....spice of life....today I feel like writing about making the most out of your budget....I have a friend who told me to start a blog that talks about how to find the best secrets for deals....deals on ANYTHING, and EVERYTHING! I could write about Kohl's....but, judging from the check out lines, I think you ALL know about that....so my latest deal that I just had was my inspiration. I just took my family to see Chill at the Queen Mary (for those of you who don't know, it is the ice sculpture exhibit). Well, the deal that I got was that you pay $15 per person, you get to see the ice sculptures, you get to either ice skate or ice tube, and you get admission onto the Queen Mary! So, we went, had a great time, and spent a portion of what the regular price is....which is about $20/person just to see the ice sculptures....!!!

Now, you ask, how does this help you since the deal has since past? Well, I thought I would put a teaser out there just wet your whistle as to the types of deals that I find....the current deal I am going to talk about is a local restaurant called Babouch! It is an authentic Moroccan style eatery. You have your low tables and pillows, you have your belly dancers, and you eat with your hands and they pour rose water to help you cleanse.....it is such fun! Well, the deals that I would like to share are two: 1. if you have a party of small eaters and heavier drinkers, you may want to indulge in the cocktail party! You pay one flat fee for unlimited drinks and appetizers! This last for two hours, but be rest assured that you will pay if you go over, or come early....The cost per person is $30. 2. If you would rather enjoy the dining experience and dancing, you may want to pay for the complete dinner which is 50% off IF YOU PAY IN CASH! It is well worth it! You still must pay for your appetizers, drinks and dessert! However, it is a full meal and includes all of the entertainment! Please make sure to also bring a wallet full of $1s! Enjoy!! Coupons online, and the restaurant is located at:  810 S Gaffey St, San Pedro, CA 90731  310.831.0246

How do you know....

....when you are suppose to know? I am in a situation that is very precarious. I will speak in general terms. I have been unhappy in this situation for years, and have been asking for what I need to make things work. I mean years....twelve to be exact. I have finally put my foot down, and decided that it was time to make a change. As I was in the final stages of my change, what I have been asking for was presented to me in the eleventh hour.....actually, the twelfth hour.....I reluctantly agreed to try one last time.....I am still not sure what to do, I am still not sure about how I feel, and I am still not sure that I want this any longer....in going through some therapeutic processes myself, I have realized that I need to take one day at a time, and just see what happens, and that I will know when I know....it may be soon, it may take a while, but, if I keep asking for what I want and need, I have learned that eventually I will get it. If not, then it is time to move on....

Looking for a new job......

......NOW? Hmmm.....do I really think that I am going to be hired after the hiatus that I have taken for the past 10 years? I have raised two amazing children, I volunteer so much that it takes up the same amount of time as a full time job....too bad I do not get paid for it. I am - um - middle-aged, a woman, and have been "out of the loop" for this many years. But, YES, I do think that I should be hired. I started this blog 3 and a half years ago, although infrequently visited, I have tried to be better as time goes on and my children get older, and their is access to more mobile technology. I developed, started, and created an amazing art program at my daughter's preschool when she was there and improved the program by driving up enrollment 75%. I created a Green Program at my kids' school, as well as, brought in unique, successful fundraising efforts since the state does not support the schools financial as they should. I work hard, am creative, intelligent, loyal, and have great new ideas....so, YES, I do think that I should be hired. So, here I go, delving into the job search world once again! Good luck to me!

If you are a sports fan....

....and you are a woman, you can still look cute!!! You don't have to borrow your boyfriend's or husband's t-shirts any longer! They make cute, women's cut t-shirts, and cute things to wear to support your team....so ladies, stop wearing those over sized, bulky, tent-like shirts.....give them back! Go and get yourself a cute shirt in your favorite team's logo, and put some eye black under your eyes if you want to be a little masculine or tough! ;) I know this is short and sweet, but this is all I have for today....happy first weekend of football (and fantasy football!)

I know this is strange....

....but, I just think that feet are so unattractive. It may be because my mom use to put her feet under my legs when we would squeeze on our love seat to watch TV as I was growing up and WIGGLE them....which drove me insane.....that could have something to do with it! Anyway, since I really don't like feet, I always try to keep them looking as good as I possibly can. You don't always have to go get a pedicure....you can do your own! If you buy some fun tools, like emery boards that have a fun design on them, or fun foamies that go between your toes while you paint, you can make it fun! I like to do my toes with my daughter. I bought her some fun "peace" theme stickers to put on her toes! I usually use the same color, but if you like to share colors with your daughter, that is fun too! Happy toes to you!!!

Comments, and input are welcome!

New tip....

....hello, friends, here is another tip for today....as we get older, (especially women), it is more and more difficult to do exercises that are more jarring to the body....I use to run, and do a Mommy workout class at the park. However, running up and down stairs or on the road hurts.....admittedly, I kept doing it because it is better than feeling 'jiggly'.....lol! When my daughter was born, I acquired an injury while I was running one day, plantar fascitis.....not fun!!! It felt like I broke something in the arch of my foot....that took 14 months to heal. I started exercising again, and then, I acquired a new injury in my shoulder....I have extreme tendinitis! That took an MRI, needles, Rx, and PT to fix. Finally, this past year, I had a friend mention to me that she belongs to an indoor pool and does laps - sounds boring - right? Well, since we meet each other, it is GREAT! It is low impact, the cost of membership is very inexpensive, and I LOVE it! The pool is always warm enough to jump right in, I swim for an hour, and it has totally changed my life! It is an all over body workout! So, this goes along with one of my motto's of life, if you don't like how something is going, change it! You are in charge! Good luck and happy exercising! :)

I have decided to change.....

....the feeling and content of my blog a bit....I don't want to be a bummer, nor do I want this to be a place where I vent. Now, I am going to post tips. I have been told by many of my friends that I have great ideas and that I should blog about them....well, here goes! Today's tip: it has to do with fashion. My suggestion is this, if you are feeling a little down about your figure, a way to trick the eye is to wear something that brings your eye to an area that is attractive about yourself. For example, I am not a huge fan of my midsection, so, since I have always been told that I have great hair and a great smile, I bring the eye up towards my face by wearing a big, bright, fun necklace! That way, if it is colorful and sparkly, you are looking at my necklace and not my "problem" areas! (You should see my necklace collection! LOL!) Now, in this economy, jewelry is somewhat of a luxury, so another tip is to find stores that have clearance sections, or deal online. This is how I have such a variety in my repertoire! Happy accessorizing!

Do you ever feel.....

....numb? I feel like I am floating through each day.....I put on a happy (or not so happy) face for my kids. No one ever told me that being an adult would be so hard. I always envisioned a perfect world and life.....marriage, kids, home.....but, it just doesn't work that way....I am one to change things if they are not working for me a certain way, however, I feel stuck right now. I am trying, I have addressed certain issues, but, I also am not very patient....I want results right now....so, I need to just try harder. I feel like it is more difficult when my kids are home for the summer, I had been avoiding issues while they were in school, and now that I am face to face with my issues, I just want change immediately.....I just need to be patient, be in the moment, and breathe.....I need to enjoy the moments with my kids....change will come in time. I really do not like this feeling, as it is so much better to be happy....as a matter of fact, it takes more muscles to frown than to smile.....so, I will go with that!

Please feel free to comment, and/or respond.....thank you for reading!!!

I haven't had....

...much to say lately, as they say, if you don't have anything nice to say....you know, I keep telling my kids don't wish your time away....the best time of your life is now, as a child when you don't have to pay bills, have responsibilities, work, etc....and my son especially just wants to grow up so quickly. I guess I do remember feeling like I wanted freedom....but, it does have a price....now, of course, hind sight is 20/20....I wish I were a kid who just had the whole summer of lots of fun to look forward to! Not planning on going to a funeral...across the country....again....or navigating difficult relationships, or worrying about what is next, or worrying about finances....to just wake up and say, "Mom, what are we doing today?" Going to the beach? Going on a playdate? Going to the movies? Going to the park? Going to the aquarium? Hanging out at home? I think for the summer, I will just enjoy playing with the kids.... :)

I would love input and comments back, if you are reading my blog! Thank you for reading!!! :)

The end....

....of a life is so surreal....I have had yet another death in my family. Someone who was so amazing to me as a child.....she was an amazing person, yet suffered from a horrendous disease....I am happy that she is not suffering any longer and that she is reunited with her beloved husband up in heaven, however, it is a great loss to us still here on earth. The only thing that I can compare it to is when I moved to CA, it was not so hard for me to leave....however, those that I left behind we so sad - especially my family. They expressed it to me very clearly.....it is so painful to lose a loved one. I really have had enough of that this year....I have been handed numerous challenges this year, and hope that I have taken my share of hits....it is out of my hands, and I will just let things work out the way that they are suppose to....I really don't have a choice....it is life. I will be stronger on the other end....I just hope that I am able to go pay my respects to my dear sweet auntie....xoxo

I am going to....

....take a moment of silence today at 3:00 current time, to say thank you to all of those who have served our country....especially for those who have lost their lives, and made the ultimate sacrifice for MY freedom! It is an amazing thing that we get to vote, buy a house, have children, do as we wish.....most countries do not allow such freedoms. Girls cannot go to school, girls cannot vote, girls cannot show their skin.....girls cannot choose their spouses....I feel very lucky to live in such an amazing country....I certainly hope that it stays great and that current issues are worked out to keep this country great!

Comments and input are welcome!

I know that they say....

....God doesn't give you anything that you cannot handle....but I tell you, this year - 2013 - has been the most challenging year I have faced in my life.....if I start to think about it all at once, I get overwhelmed....I need to approach each item head on and just try to get through. I don't really want to laundry list everything....just know that it is a LOT....I have had two deaths in my family so far, and another one should happen within the week....that is enough to make anyone just be in turmoil.....one day at a time....one problem at a time. I am still heartbroken over a lost friendship....I am still heartbroken over issues in the home....and issues in my family.....but, I am healthy, my kids are healthy and happy....so I will go with that....and enjoy this long weekend! I hope you all do too...

I would love feedback/comments/input! Thanks for reading!!!

Today.....

....I learned that resentment, forgiveness and having faith all go hand-in-hand......if you have resentment, then you become angry and cannot move on in your life and grow. If you can find forgiveness, then you have an open heart and can accept people for who they are....this helps you heal and let go....it helps you realize that you cannot control everything and things are out of your hands....as the saying goes, "Let go and let God", which I realized today that I am learning to do, I am in control of the outcome of my life, and I can't make anyone do something that they don't want to do. I can, however, do what I need, want, and hope for. I am going to try to live that. Although, I have felt myself relax and try to forgive wrong-doings....I am still somewhat stuck in what my next steps will be....but I know in time, I will figure that out....I just need to take one day at a time....

Comments and input are very welcome! I would love to hear from those of you who have read my blog! :)

Happy Birthday to.....

....my beautiful sorority little sister, Kristin, who is in heaven looking down upon all of us with her huge smile!!! You are so beloved....you are so missed!!! I miss you everyday, and send prayers towards your Brian, Elise and Gardner....they are all so strong, yet survivors! You touched so many people in such an amazing way....when I met you during pledging at UNH, you just grabbed my heart right away....I knew you were someone who I had to have in my life....you are a shining light....now, then, and forever....dear sweet girl....as the song goes...'only the good die young'....you are the best of the best....this is where I think God is a little selfish in taking such an amazing person so young...but, I understand why....he needs you, maybe more than we do....I am so thankful for the brief time here that I had with you...so many years went by in between college and our reunion....I am, however, so thankful and grateful for that reunion...I still have the emails from you when you came to visit CA for the last time, and you told me that you would definitely see me "next time..."....I get a lump in my throat each time I read and reread that....I love you tons, from the bottom of my heart! xoxo

Taking a break....

....from stress. I am just going to shut out the world for a while. It seems as though everyone wants something....I have decided that I am going to say no, not be taken advantage of, and just do what makes ME happy. If that means that I have to let someone down, well, for now...so be it. It is time to focus on me, and make choices that will not always please everyone. I am going to stop letting the not so nice people in and surround myself with happiness and positivity! Yes...this is corny, but, as per "The Secret" I am going to put that out there in the universe....I am going choose good things, positive things, and uplifting people! Back to choosing friends, I am so thankful for my girlfriends....honestly, at this time in my life, I don't know how I would get through these times without them.....thankfully, I have a lot of wonderful friends who just keep me busy, and happy....and supported!!!

Please feel free to leave comments/thoughts....I welcome them!

I think that....

.....your best friends in the whole world know exactly when to connect with you and exactly what to say.....one of my very best friends called me today - it was just what I needed. She knows that I am going through some things that are very difficult to navigate....and she called with the best words and support. It is so nice to know that I have her and numerous others who would do anything for me.....that is such an amazing friend. She is like the sister that I never had. I really don't think I could get through these things without the love and support of friends like her. Life sometimes is extremely challenging, and offers up things that may change who you are and it requires encouragement....especially when you lack confidence and question everything that you do, then, a friend calls who just knows you inside and out, and lets you know that it will be ok, that they would drop everything to come be with you and help you through. I am so thankful for friends like that. It definitely gives me wings to take off and make the decisions and choices that I need to....

I would love some comments and/or feedback! Thank you for reading my blog!

The impersonalization of.....

....technology.....we love it, we hate it....I just reaped the negatives of the usage of technology. I don't understand why people have gotten away from face to face interaction. I always thought that I would never do that....and I did. Texting is great if you need to meet someone and you are trying to iron out the details, or have a quick comment for someone or just want to say hello. It is so unfortunate when someone relies on texting as their only means of communication. I suppose sometimes with time zones or other circumstances, that is ok, however, it is so important to keep the face to face communication lines open, especially when lines are crossed. I guess if someone wants to keep a relationship going that way, or ending that way, that is their issue. I will focus on the here and now, and the real people in my life instead of the words on a screen "person".....especially when so much was put into that....and not the real me....

Not an easy day....

....as thankful as I am to have such amazing children to celebrate Mother's Day....my heart is breaking for my mom who is alone for the first time on Mother's Day....she never really got use to the fact that I am 3000 miles away, but at least she had her husband to make her feel special on this day....this is the first year without him there. He has been gone for less than three months, and she is really beside herself. I do not know what to do. This is where the "imperfect mommy" feeling is really felt today....I sent flowers and a nice card, but, wish I could be closer for day-to-day contact. I don't know what to do....I have offered to go visit but she doesn't want me to come because she doesn't want me to leave.....one day at a time....I can only do what I can do....prayers and hugs and love to you mom! xoxo

It almost hurts more....

...when you and a friend break up...why? Well, because you CHOOSE your friends....your family is your family...don't get me wrong, blood is thicker than water....however, when you are blindsided and deeply hurt by false accusations by someone who you chose to be in your circle, and someone you trusted to have your back and not judge you, suddenly to do so, wow....that is just shocking. It makes me leery to trust again. Thankfully, I do have many and numerous friends who have been my friends for a very long time who I have in my inner circle - well, I suppose this other person was working their way in to my inner circle as well....I guess that is why I am so hurt. I was angry and shocked, but now I am just so hurt....I cannot believe things ended this way. Just by these feelings, I am sure you can relate without knowing the whole story...I am sure that these are common situations, however, this hasn't happened to me in so many years....I should have known better....shame on me....you definitely teach people how to treat you. Something to think about for the future.....so many years, just down the drain....I am deeply saddened....

What to do....

...when someone you love is really suffering....I have mentioned that my mom lost her husband (my stepfather of over 30 years) to liver cancer a couple of months ago.....well, now, the pain is really setting in for her. She is really hard to talk to. She is extremely lonely and angry.....I live so far away from her and there really isn't much I can do. I wish we lived closer together, but, we don't. I suggested joining some sort of hobby club, but she is not interested. She has gone back to work, and is so busy with trying to keep up her large house, that she falls into bed each night.....I just wish that there was a way to heal her broken heart....I know it has been a few short months, and it will take time....but sometimes time drags along when we need it to go by quickly.....of course, when we want time to slow down, it goes by too quickly....just wanted to talk about my mom's pain right now, because I feel like I am the only one she has and it is such a burden....of course I love my mom to death, that is why it is so painful....

I am so thankful for....

....SO many amazing friends. I consider my girlfriends my sisters, as I do not have any sisters. The beauty is that I can CHOOSE them....and they choose me....when I was in NH two months ago when my stepfather passed away, and spent two weeks with my mom to help her sort through things, I had many friends from my childhood through my young adult years (just before I moved to CA) come and support me. I told them that they are stuck with me and cannot get rid of me not matter how hard they may try....lol....I am not sure how I would get through some of the hard times without them. There is nothing like girlfriends to understand you and life's challenges like them. They do not judge, they support, they love me and no matter what, they always have the right thing to say just when I need to hear it. They are so therapeutic....thank you girlfriends/sisters!

We all have hills...

... to climb....and choices to make. I have learned that if you live in the moment, and just not worry about the future, time will reveal what is meant to be. I am such a worrier.....I fret what is going to happen next. It has given me such peace since I have decided to take one day at a time, one step at a time, and slow down....I need to be in the here and now. I am so much less anxious. I am so thankful for the reminders - friends - and family - who are supporting me through this stage of my life when big changes are going to come and I am so worried about how things will work out. I breathe, talk to someone who is in my corner, and live for today. Plans still need to be made, and action needs to happen, however, I will conquer a little bit at a time instead of climbing a mountain, I will walk up a hill.... :)

I am tired.....

....of all of the crappy people in the world! What is WRONG with people? Why on EARTH would you hurt innocent people? Children, families, friends, lives all affected by sick, distorted, crazy people. Go do that to yourself. It was horrific what happened at Sandy Hook, and now this in Boston.....when will the madness end? My HEART goes out to everyone who was affected by yet another tragedy. I am SO thankful that my loved ones are safe and sound. I am trying my hardest to teach my kids that people are good, and to try to be nice to everyone.....you don't have to be friends with everyone, but just try to be nice to everyone....you never know if they will be here tomorrow.....with that, I am going to go sqquuueeeezzzzeeee my kids!

I know that this has been said a lot recently but....

....when tragedy strikes, look to those you love and embrace them in the moment, because you may not be able to do so again! In the wake of Boston's explosions yesterday, that really hits home for me as Boston use to BE my home....it is my home away from home....I was fortunate enough not to have anyone affected by the hideousness of the crazy act, however, it is still, nevertheless, a heartbreaking moment. We are often reminded to stop and take a look at things when such events take place. The Sandy Hook tragedy is another recent event that just makes you think. Live, love, enjoy.....I am going to try to do that more often....forgive, and heal....

Do something that...

....makes you feel great each day! I just started going to a pool in the morning after dropping off the kids to swim laps....I have been doing this for a few months now, and I feel GREAT! That is one thing that I will not compromise as it is the one hour of time that is dedicated to ME....everyone should do that....whether you exercise, write, create art, sing, play music......BLOG....whatever it may be, focus on yourself, even if it is just for a short time. I decided that I am going to swim Monday through Friday and it has really made me feel so great! I look forward to it! There are always way to improve imperfection.....I am always trying to be a better person, mom, friend, family member....change is good! I am looking forward to some positive changes soon! :)

If you do not like how something is going in your life...

...change it. This has been a life changing year for me. I realize that I have not been here to post in over a year!!! I only posted ONE blog all year last year....but, it is time to get back into it. The year started out not so well. At 10:20 pm on New Year's Eve, I received a call from my mom. It was 1:20 am for her...she is on the east coast. I panicked. Once I answered the phone and heard the news on the other end....I knew that it was not going to be an easy road. My stepfather, who was 69, had fallen unconscious, and she had to call 911 to have him rushed to the hospital. After many days, tests, recovery, relapses, and varieties of diagnosis; the ultimate news was that he had terminal liver cancer....he had a few weeks to a few months left to live. He lasted one month after this news. Once my mom lost her partner of over 30 years, I went to spend two weeks with her to help her clean out, mourn, plan a service, and cope....in doing so, there were some things that I realized. I have been just going through life and pretending that everything is OK, so, now, I am making strides in making changes for the better. I will not just glide on through and try to get by. This week is a big step. Once I am stronger and can talk more about it, I will reveal slowly my journey....thank you for supporting! I will need it!