....so I woke up today, and realized that it was Thursday. Tuesday and Thursday I meet with a fabulous group of women who I work out with. It is so great, and once I am finished the 75 minute regime I am SO happy that I attended. The getting motivated to go every Tuesday and Thursday that is the difficult part. Additionally, I have been going for 2 1/2 years, I see a difference in my strength, however, I cannot seem to get the weight off...yes, I do lose a few pounds here and there, but, I just think that the weight I am at, is where I am meant to be. I beat myself up all of the time about how I look, what to wear, what to eat, what I already ate, why did I eat that, I think I will just drink more wine because it has all gone to pot now....you get the gist (I think that this saying may be in all of my blogs....LOL!) We are even doing a "Biggest Loser" contest with our group where we each put in $20 and whoever loses the largest percentage of weight, wins the pool of money. I have lost about 5 pounds, have three more weeks to go and just feel stuck. I was mortified to even weigh in.....it seriously took everything I had to confide in my friend who logged our weight. Until this contest, I NEVER told my hubster what I weigh but by him knowing, I am accountable.....I USE to weigh 115 - 120 in high school and college, however, those days are LONG GONE! Well, I will just keep trying to watch what I eat (I only give myself one day a week a break where I can have pasta, wine, dessert, or cheat a little bit), and not beat myself up over it.....I have asked for alternate procedures on various occasions from my hubster, but he doesn't want me to, and he tells me that he loves me just the way I am. That should be enough, right? Well, I still beat myself up over it, I feel like I should be thinner, prettier, more fabulous but what I really need to do is to try to forgive myself for the extra weight, and LOVE myself for who I am. I actually do love myself for who I am, I just wish that I could look like Heidi Klum after four kids in a bikini.....but, that is not reality. So, for now, I will go have my salad for dinner and get up tomorrow, and exercise in the AM and do my best!
What is it with us women and wanting to be so skinny? We should move to another state....or country where curvy women are more acceptable.;) You are beautiful and guess what, if you were skinnier and mean.....none of it would matter. I love you for who you are. We are so critical of ourselves.....that's why I don't buy fashion mags...or look at shows with supermodels....Just keep excercising for your health and don't deprive yourself of enjoying certain food. You look awesome, you are awesome and I love you.:)
ReplyDeleteCarrie
Yeah...what she said! Seriously, Jen, YOU ARE AN AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL WOMAN. You need not spend one more minute thinking about this issue. It is not worth the space in your brain. You have a loving husband that adores you, and although you think you need to be 110 lbs, you are healthy and strong. Enjoy life mama. Everything is good.
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